I can’t think the any mommy that did not tell their child a thousand time to chew with their mouth closed. In the event that you’re the one human who was never ever told this … I’m telling you now:

Nobody desires to see the slimy, half-eaten, nasty mess in her mouth while you’re eating … therefore close your fucking mouth while you chew!

Every child is teach this. If you to speak you weren’t … you are a fucking liar! people who chew with their mouth open have made a aware decision come no much longer be person beings. I’m certain there space a myriad of factors that may drive a human to decide that this is an acceptable behavior but I’m guessing the main one is a large “F.U.” come their mom for always nagging them around it.

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“I’m an adult now and also I have the right to do what ns want! so … I’m gonna chew with my mouth open and you can’t perform anything about it!”

Yes … you space really getting ago at mommy now, aren’t you!? countless of friend can’t recognize why you’re tho single? Maybe due to the fact that you eat prefer a fucking animal and also no woman desires to be about that. Also Helen Keller would rotate away in disgust!

Chewing through your mouth open has obtained to be one of the most disgusting habits I have the right to think of. (Picking her nose and eating that is probably number one … and also yes … people do that. I’ve observed it sit at a stoplight. Apparently human being don’t think we can see through a auto window!?) Not just is viewing the masticated chaos in your mouth disgusting however there’s a very great chance that half-chewed food particles will fly the end of her mouth when chewing … and God knows where they’ll land. FYI … if you space sitting across from me at a dinner table … you certain as shit far better chew with your mouth closed since if any food corpuscle from her mouth land on my plate … we are going to have a problem!


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Aside from the chance that half eaten food will certainly fly out of your mouth, over there is also the abhorrent sounds produced by chewing v your mouth open. The slimy sound that the saliva enveloping the food. The obnoxiously according to crunching. The smacking that lips. People actually lose their shit end the sound of civilization eating through their mouth open. It’s dubbed Misophonia. It’s a disorderin which details sounds trigger emotional or physiological responses. People’s reactions can range from anger and also annoyance come panic and the should flee.

To mine knowledge, I carry out not experience from Misophonia because I don’t feel the have to flee. Ns DO have the advice to say:

“Close your mouth, girlfriend fucking pig! Watching friend eat is making me shed my appetite!”

… however I think that’s just due to the fact that I’m an intolerant asshole.

There are always some of you do-gooders who always want to shot and defend someone or their actions and also will say:

“Maybe the person’s nose is clogged and they can’t aid it?”


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My answer come you is …too fucking bad! have some typical decency for the remainder of us and eat alone in your residence if girlfriend can’t breath v your mouth closed. Why have to everyone else have to be repulsed through your open mouth chewing since you’ve gained a cold? Drink a fucking protein shake! Think of someone various other than you yourself … because that once. If I have actually IBS, walk that median it’s alright because that me come fart in ~ the table when everyone’s eating? NO! You need to be considerate of other people.

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Next time you’re eating, pay attention and determine if you space an open up mouth chewer. If you find you room … simply know you’re one utter disappointment to your mommy … and also work on closing her fucking mouth when you eat.