I went to a job-related training course a couple of weeks back, and also upon successful completion of the course, one of our instructors informed us that we were all “rock stars.” What had I done to accomplish rock-star status? ns sat in a room with 10 other people in business-casual attire for three days, hunched over a laptop. We did have lunch delivered every day, though, which i imagine was exactly like eating off the Jack Daniels-soaked deli tray top top the dirty floor of Nikki Sixx’s dressing room after the threw it at a roadie during Crüe tourism in ’86.

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Rock stars space mythical, dangerous, and everything most of united state aren’t, shouldn’t be, and also couldn’t be. rock stardom is a dream; a one-in-a-million shot the comes true because that very few musicians. It’s something to aspire to, emulate, and marvel at. And also when friend slap that label on “Keith indigenous accounting” since he acquired his budget plan numbers done beforehand for the second week in a row, you’re tarnishing the tradition of every dirtbag who’s ever before unbolted a TV from a cheap-hotel dresser and also winged it into a swimming pool five floors down.

Also: the term is “rock star,” not “rockstar.” Rockstar is an power drink, a video-game company, and also a really damaging song by Nickelback which no one would ever before want to be contrasted to, connected with, or compelled to hear to.

The worst offenders? task postings on Craigslist. Do a find for “rockstar” top top your neighborhood CL to gain a sampling. Here are a few absolutely real ones from our neck that the woods:

“If you have actually an outstanding capacity to multi-task and can communicate like a rockstar, we desire to hear indigenous you! :)”

But what if I connect like the absent star Shane MacGowan?

“Sports restaurant and also bar searching for a SUPERSTAR Server. Please only apply if you fulfill the complying with criteria: — can handle one 8 come 10 table section choose a Rockstar.”

Dude, you simply know Robert tree would crush at that gig.

“The nations an initial organic airbrush tanning salon is spring to include another rockstar to your team!”

May I imply Dave Navarro? He constantly looks tanned and airbrushed.

“We need a high-volume accounts Payable rockstar who deserve to multi-task, take initiative and drive processes.”

Because if there’s one point rock stars are known for, it’s your level-headed method to money.

“If you have actually a ROCKSTAR personality & work ethic and also want to be component of the BEST, you re welcome apply!”

This one’s because that a strip club, for this reason that could actually not be a bad fit. Does anyone have Don Dokken’s call number?

Please, people, i implore you: provide this one a rest. Either that or us lock you in a dank, dingy basement with Keith Richards and his stash for 2 days and also we’ll discover out how much that a absent star you really are.

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How around you? Got any instances that “rock star” misuse that drive friend nuts? permit us recognize in the comments.